More humor for your Monday

Ok, so it’s the very end of your monday, but I thought this shit was hilarious. The first part is an actual conversation Steven had with some random guy who saw his AIM name somewhere on a web hosting forum. Wow. So stupid.

(10:17:03) lame person: hi
(10:17:59) steven: whoisdis?
(10:18:17) lame person: robertas from cpanel forums. can you host sites for free
(10:18:48) steven: nope.
(10:18:53) lame person: why
(10:19:10) steven: Why can’t host website for free?
(10:19:19) lame person: why can’t you
(10:19:43) steven: Because we would go out of business hosting websites for free.
(10:20:55) lame person: but please can you host only my site for free
(10:22:15) steven: If we host you for free then we have to host other people for free and if we start doing that we will go out of business and no one will get any hosting from us at all 🙁
(10:22:41) lame person: but please…. I really need hosting
(10:23:06) steven: We really need to stay in business 🙁
(10:23:21) lame person: yeah. but please…. Just think about it
(10:24:12) steven: Why would we consider hosting your website for free?
(10:25:02) lame person: because I really need to
(10:29:34) lame person: so please host me
(10:30:19) steven: I’m sorry. We can not host websites for free.
(10:30:37) lame person: why? you won’t go out of business
(10:32:00) steven: Our service here at Liquidweb is top notch. If we start giving services away for free it would degrade our service level.
(10:32:17) lame person: so what
(10:34:02) steven: The high service level is very important to our customers. This is why people pay us for hosting.
(10:34:30) lame person: and why can’t you give me free hosting to only me not to others. nobody will know
(10:35:11) steven: Why don’t you want to pay for hosting?
(10:35:25) lame person: I don’t have money. that is the problem
(10:37:27) lame person: just please host me for free… I beg you
(10:39:47) lame person: so please
(10:44:54) steven: can’t do it. sorry.
(10:45:05) lame person: why
(10:45:22) steven: I think we covered that already.
(10:45:41) lame person: yep. but please… can you make a special offer
(10:45:50) steven: no.
(10:46:10) lame person: can you install cpanel
(10:46:46) steven: I am capable of installing cpanel, yes.
(10:46:58) lame person: free?
(10:47:22) steven: Only if you are a current paying customer.
(10:47:36) lame person: but for other servers can you?
(10:48:27) steven: For a fee of $100 per hour I can install cpanel for you.
(10:48:46) lame person: why? why is it so much? Why isn’t it free
(10:52:11) steven: This is our standard consulting fee for working on servers outside our network.
(10:52:28) lame person: but why? it takes only an hour
(10:54:38) steven: We are all highly trained professionals here at Liquidweb. Our time spent outside of our normal work is worth money. In fact, I really don’t have the time to continue this conversation.
(11:14:31) lame person: ok

The second one also came from Steven… what can I say, he’s good at making me laugh. I want this program, yo!


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