Monthly Archives: June 2005

Groundhog Day

I’ve been thinking about my general station in life a good amount recently. In general, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I have a loving and supporting family and a good job that I enjoy. I have no problems keeping myself fed (which is quite evident by looking at my waistline) and sheltered, and I have controlled debt. I am better off than a great many people around the world, and yet I quite often wonder if I will ever really be truly happy.

Even with the countless number of great people that have touched my life, I feel empty inside a good amount of the time these days. It seems like all of the things I used to enjoy have either passed or lost their luster. I don’t really do anything fun anymore. I can’t remember the last time I tried doing something new, or even what it was. The movie Groundhog Day seems strangely applicable when describing my life these days. Instead of being trapped in the same calendar day though, I am stuck in the same set of events, day in and day out, and they rarely ever change. I could go out and do something, but I don’t. Don’t ask me why I don’t, because I don’t know. Laziness? Perhaps. I don’t have the answer.

The worst thing though is something I can’t just go out and fix. I can’t punch keys on a keyboard or turn a screwdriver or use a soldering iron to fix this problem. It boils down to the fact that I am lonely. Oh, so very lonely. My heart longs to love someone, but the electric sign up in the corner says “Now serving: 01”, and nobody is taking the ticket. I don’t think I can really be happy unless I am making someone else happy. I could be helping my situation out more by being more social, but it would seem that I don’t want to do that either. Why? I don’t know.

It seems as though I’ve written this post before. I probably have. After all, it’s Groundhog Day, isn’t it?

On a seperate note, I recorded a guitar doodle for the first time in a while earlier on this evening. It turned out somewhat well I think. You can check it out here.

Better? Who woulda thunk it?

I had another eye exam this morning with Dr. Saxe, and he says he sees good improvement, although I don’t really see much difference. My eyesight is up to 20/25 in the right eye, but I think that’s kind of misleading. With my left eye I’m able to pick off the 20/20 line at a glance, but I have to strain for seconds at a time to see the lines with my right eye. The leakage has slowed, and he says most of the swelling inside my eye has gone. I guess that’s good news, even though I don’t really see it with my own eye.

I had a good time this weekend down with Jon and Michelle in Cincy. We caught a Reds game saturday night and watched the new Batman movie on sunday. Batman gets two thumbs up from all three of us. The plot and action were all great, and it was kinda neat because you didn’t have a clear idea of who the bad guy really was until the very end. There were a few ‘bad’ guys throughout the movie, but arch-enemy super villan type wasn’t revealed until the end. I plan on seeing it again soon. Very few movies get that from me.

I’ve got a few pictures from the trip up in the gallery, along with some others that I hadn’t posted yet. It seems that I took more pictures of their cats than anything else. What can I say, they were cute!

WMGN in Cincinnati

Yep, I’m posting from Cincinnati tonight. I’m down here visiting Jon and Michelle, and pilfering one of their neighbor’s wireless connection. That’s what they get for leaving it open! For those that are curious, I’m in this general area. This area is actually a bit more scenic than the rest of Ohio. The last 30 miles or so of the highway portion of the drive have hills and woods and stuff, whereas the first portion of the drive has nothing but effing Corn Fields. At least I didn’t smell that pig farm that I’ve noticed before on previous trips through Ohio on I-75. That stench makes rotten eggs seem downright fragrant.

This week has been a good one for me. The project load at work was lighter, which is a good thing. The project was kinda delayed on the other end, not mine. I was kinda mad though, I was told to be ready for the monday launch, and when I emailed the other folks to find out what the status was, they were like “oh yah, we’ll release sometime in the next three weeks.” And I worked the whole weekend before trying to polish things up for monday. Grrrr.

I also hung out with Megan a few times this week. We hit up the bar, watched some movies, and played guitars together. I don’t care what she says, her voice is great! I have an admiration for anyone who can play and sing at the same time, because I can’t. I can shout over choruses, but that’s about it. She did her best to distract me while I was playing too, and well, she was successful! I guess I need my full concentration when I play. Bad musical abominations happen when I lose focus. I guess they’re only slightly worse than my normal musical abominations though.

/me falls over

Yah, yah, I know… it's been like two weeks since I've posted. So save it! I've been really busy with my project at work, and it's finally coming to fruition. It's supposed to go live tomorrow. I know everything works, but I'm still worried that someone will find a glitch somewhere. I'm anxious for this project to be out of my hair for a while. Since it will be an evolving product, I don't think it will ever really be 'done', but at least I'll be able to get a break from it.

I need a vacation. My brain is mush right now, and I'm waking up tired every morning. I just need to recharge the batteries. I'm thinking about heading up north for at least a long weekend sometime soon. A few days of nothing but relaxation would be great for me.

It's also getting very close to the time where I have to make a decision on the 'where am I going to live' situation. The lease is up on August 1st, and we have to let the landlords know what our intentions are by July 1. Decisions decisions. I wanted to start looking for houses, but the uncertainty brought about by my eye and car situations make me want to play it safe for now and not get myself in trouble by jumping too soon. Each one has the potential of sucking tons of money out of my pocket in a fashion that's beyond my control.

Seeing Red

Yep, the past couple of weeks have been pretty frustrating in Mike land. I've had a whole list of things that I've been wanting to bitch about, er, I mean, mention on the website, but I've been pretty busy so I haven't taken the time to do so. Well, I'm taking the time.

1. The project that never dies. The project I've been working on at work is making lots of progress, but it seems that for every task I cross of my to-do list, another two or three appear. I received a pretty firm date that the thing needs to be completed by, and because of that I worked the whole holiday weekend, and I'll probably be working most of this coming weekend as well. I'm tired. I want this project to end.

2. The incredible defective LCD panel. One of my LCD panels in my super cool triple-monitor setup at home has decided that it likes having a big red line going vertically thoughout the screen. It's always there no matter what I do. I tried swapping signal cables, changing video modes, changing the card it was plugged into… nothing fixes it. Pretty shitty considering I've only had it for about 6 months.

3. My own stupidity. I have a terrible tendency to procrastinate, and it never results in anything good. Case in point: I got in a slight fender-bender a few weeks ago, and I was the person at fault. It was rainy, and I was following too close, and I slid into the back of this girl in an Envoy. Yah, it sucked, shit happens, whatever. I called and got the insurance claim started the monday after it happened, so no problems there. I did however, completely neglect to call the court about the ticket until, well, this morning. They informed me that the ticket was due TODAY, and that there was no way to pay it online or over the phone. So I had to drive all the way to Brighton just to pay a $105 ticket. Could someone smack me please?

4. Parts and Labor. I got my car looked at last week following the accident to make sure nothing was wrong with it and to get an estimate on the cost of repairing the minor damage that I had on the front fascia. All I saw was a bit of scuffed paint and a broken Pontiac emblem. No big deal right? Wrong. The inspector also found that the front fascia had a crack farther down near the underside. He said it could probably be fixed, but maybe not. Total cost, parts and labor: $485. Freakin $15 under my deductable. That's only if the fascia is repairable. If it's not, tack another $300-400 on to that bill.

Sigh. At least it's warm outside now.