Groundhog Day

I’ve been thinking about my general station in life a good amount recently. In general, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I have a loving and supporting family and a good job that I enjoy. I have no problems keeping myself fed (which is quite evident by looking at my waistline) and sheltered, and I have controlled debt. I am better off than a great many people around the world, and yet I quite often wonder if I will ever really be truly happy.

Even with the countless number of great people that have touched my life, I feel empty inside a good amount of the time these days. It seems like all of the things I used to enjoy have either passed or lost their luster. I don’t really do anything fun anymore. I can’t remember the last time I tried doing something new, or even what it was. The movie Groundhog Day seems strangely applicable when describing my life these days. Instead of being trapped in the same calendar day though, I am stuck in the same set of events, day in and day out, and they rarely ever change. I could go out and do something, but I don’t. Don’t ask me why I don’t, because I don’t know. Laziness? Perhaps. I don’t have the answer.

The worst thing though is something I can’t just go out and fix. I can’t punch keys on a keyboard or turn a screwdriver or use a soldering iron to fix this problem. It boils down to the fact that I am lonely. Oh, so very lonely. My heart longs to love someone, but the electric sign up in the corner says “Now serving: 01”, and nobody is taking the ticket. I don’t think I can really be happy unless I am making someone else happy. I could be helping my situation out more by being more social, but it would seem that I don’t want to do that either. Why? I don’t know.

It seems as though I’ve written this post before. I probably have. After all, it’s Groundhog Day, isn’t it?

On a seperate note, I recorded a guitar doodle for the first time in a while earlier on this evening. It turned out somewhat well I think. You can check it out here.

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