Dumbest abuse letter EVER.

Dear Network administrator,

Recently, a [removed] customer suffered from an alleged behavior caused by a user on your network.

I would appreciate it if you would determine which user was using that address at that time and take the appropriate disciplinary action.

If I have addressed this to the wrong party, please forward this message to the appropriate contact.

Thank you.

I'll look right into that alleged behavior from the user on that address once I figure out what the alleged behavior is and why I should give a damn. Perhaps the user is a highly attractive female, and her alleged behavior is giving away money. I'd like to investigate that. Otherwise, I don't give a shit.

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